Blogmas Day 19 - Dealing with a sudden loss

Note: This post will contain mentions of mental illness/mental health/death/mentions of death. Please take caution when reading and if you're triggering by reading about mental illness - please do not read on. Also, whatever ways I suggest for dealing with MH is how I deal with things and they may not work for everyone! As well as this, I am not a qualified mental health practitioner/counsellor/psychiatrist.

Evening everyone, and happy Blogmas!

Today I want to talk about something which I've had to deal with recently, and that is a sudden loss. I know it's a sad topic, but it's something which should be addressed and talked about.

Recently, someone from my school year had passed away and that was a total shock to the system. Nobody expected it to happen since as a person, they were always laughing and making jokes, and making others happy. This literally proves that no matter what someone could be going through, not all pain is physical.

As of yesterday (the 19th), I found out that one of my university housemates unfortunately passed away very suddenly due to illness, and this was a complete and total shock to myself, my other two housemates, her friends, family and fellow political followers. 


In my life, I've never really lost anyone close to me and I do consider myself lucky in that aspect, but at the same time, I feel like I need to know how to prepare myself for when the time comes, and that's what this post is about. Losing someone very suddenly is a shock to the system, and usually when I receive bad news, I struggle for a reaction. I'm kind of just like "Oh..." and sit in silence until it hits me a few hours/a day later.

One thing I realised I need to do is to not get emotional. This is very hard, since I am a very emotional person. I was told this yesterday, but whoever it is that has passed, they would want you to be happy and think of the good things you and that person have done in life and to focus on that. They wouldn't want you getting upset that they have passed.

Another thing I also need to do is to try and not dwell on it. Again, another hard thing to do but the more you think of what's happened, the more upset/depressed you may feel and that isn't good. Distracting your mind is a good thing for this, and what I did when I found out the news of my passed housemate the first thing I did was cry. I cried on and off for a few hours but distracting myself did help. The things I did were talk to my family members (like my mum and brother), as well as playing games on my phone or laptop. This helped calm me down and relax my mind.

Upon finding out when someone from my school had passed, it hit me very hard even though we weren't exactly friends. It was a shock to the system and I still send all my love to his family and to his girlfriend. I do not know 100% what had happened, but I seen a lot of people talking about mental health surrounding his death. Suicide is a hard thing to have to deal with, especially if it's a friend or a loved one. If it's something which has given you signs of trauma, please seek help. Whether it be temporary counselling, or something like that - please take it. You may think you don't deserve it or need it, but recovery from a type of trauma (whether it be from any kind of death) like that needs to have some form of help.

I wrote this post regarding the passing of my university housemate, Lily, who I will definitely miss. She was one of the reasons I got into politics and I met her through my other housemate Cat, who I'll always thank for giving me the chance to meet Lily. 

She was a lovely person, caring and considerate. Her passion for politics was definitely there, and the amount of work she had put into politics in her life is outstanding and seeing the amount of love which was spread on social media following her passing from those who she knew through politics was amazing to see. That political passion was also inspiring for me, because it shows with hard work, dedication and support, you can make a difference to things, as well as getting a good grip on something you love.

I only knew her for about a year, but it was a good year and I will thoroughly miss her company, chats with her about games and politics and the atmosphere she brought with her everywhere she went. RIP Lily, heaven's gained an amazing and beautiful angel.

Thanks for reading today's post and I hope that December is good for you.

Feel free to follow me on Twitter: @chloemtommo, Instagram: @chloetommo and BloglovinHave an amazing day!

No comments

Thanks so much for your comment! Note: Any anonymous hate will be deleted straight away.