Why I chose writing as an escape

When having a particularly "bad" mental health day, I know different people will turn to different things in order to release the emotion. Some will go on a walk, some will listen to music, some will read, some will spend time by themselves or with family. For me, it's cracking open Word and writing a drabble or two, or opening Blogger.

In a creative writing sense, I choose to write over any of the other methods above because it gives me a method to escape my reality and push myself into another one where I am its creator (that sounds SO deep in my head, christ). But for a blogging sense, I used it as an escape from my own life and to write things that I hope will be of help to others.

Sometimes I'll write things reflecting my mood, which tends to be an 'upsetting' piece, or one where you just want to hug the main character and pet their heads and other times it's something very lovely and the opposite of how I'm feeling. It really varies sometimes,

Yes, you all know me as a blogger and the reason I started blogging was to write my thoughts and feelings down somewhere so they were out of my head, but I also wanted to reach out online for help - hence why chloetommo is a thing. However, I'm going to talk about both writing my blog as well as writing for a creative purpose by answering some questions from you all!

Do you ever get writer's block?

For my blog, I do from time to time. Sometimes I get ideas for things but I can't physically get them down, or by the time I get around to doing it, my idea is gone. However, for creative writing, I actually don't get writers block at all. I have ideas for little drabbles all the time and make them up sometimes in my head and I'm like 'oh, this actually could be decent'.

Have you always enjoyed writing?

Yeah, definitely! For as long as I can remember I've loved it. In school, I was always better at English than any of my other subjects, and I used to write in the Tumblr "roleplaying community" (For those of you who don't know, this isn't a sexual writing thing at all. It's basically a community online where you join a group with a blog as a character of your choice (you have to do applications 50% of the time, other times it's "appless" where you use basic info.)

Basically after that you post to the dashboard as your own character and you interact with others as their characters to and build stories/connections from there - quite fun really!). I did this from the age of... Maybe 13? Since then, it's really sparked my interest for writing even more.

How do you feel knowing your personal experiences are online?

It doesn't bother me at all. I get to choose what I release publicly and what I keep to myself/on my Word documents. I see my blog as an open book (for majority of it, as there's one thing I really don't think I can share online as of yet, or at all if I'm honest) where I post my real life and 100% truthful experiences with so that it can helps others in terms of feeling like they're not alone.

What would you say to others who are considering writing about their MH online?

For them, I'd say that if you want to publish something publicly about something and aren't sure because of reactions, don't hold back. Your content is what you want it to be and I know that if you write about a personal experience, what you'll get is support, love and a community that'll love you and be there for you. My comfort levels for posting things about my mental health online has risen so much, and that's due to the increasing amount of love, support and friends I have within the blogging and MH community.

At the same time, I'd also say to not push yourself into writing something you're not okay with doing. I know seeing posts of other's experiences may influence you to write about yours, but if your not comfortable to press that publish button - don't force yourself!

Do you prefer creative writing or blogging?

It's difficult to say because with blogging, I use it for a mental health perspective rather than any other perspective, so it feels 100% serious all the time, which I don't mind at all. I prefer how freelance I can be with creative writing, since I can literally write about anything I want, whereas with my blog, I'm... Not restricted per-say, but I only tend to discuss one thing.

Do you find it easier to discuss things behind the security of a character?

(This actually took me a few times to write, oh lord).

I do sometimes, it depends. Before I started to blog, if I was writing a character which had my past experiences, or one of them and it was being published out for people to see that I didn't know, I'd prefer it to have been behind a character. Purely because I didn't want the judgement of people knowing what had happened to me. Taking this from perspective of now, I prefer writing as myself and posting it out there because I'm more confident in myself and I'm happier to let people know my struggles so they feel like they're not alone, as well as that there's always light at the end of the tunnel and it isn't bad forever.

Are you always fully open about your MH online or do you sometimes hold back some of the more personal things?

I've been 100% open besides one experience as I don't think I can physically bring myself to tell you all about it. I've only recently told my counsellor about it and he's the first person out of family and my boyfriend who knows about it, and it's also taken me 10 years to be able to tell someone out of that circle.

Honestly, I'd love to talk about it as it's a serious issue and has really affected my mental health since I was 10 years old, and being nearly 20 I do want to share it, I just don't think I can bring myself to do so just yet.

Before finishing this post, I started to write a drabble yesterday and I know some people do want to see how my writing is, so I thought I'd share the start of the drabble with you. It doesn't really give much away as to what its about (and maybe if I get motivation, it could be a complete book thing), so I apologise in advance for it being dry.

Outside looking in

Part 1

Watching the vinyl spin around on the bright orange record player in the corner of the room was the only source of entertainment for Belle at that present moment. One song after another by Train soothed her as her eyes burned and cheeks tear stained. Ironically, listening to happy songs was a way of venting for her, since slow and acoustic songs would just bring her down again. That, and it was a vinyl of an album her father loved a lot. The voice of Pat Monahan wrapped around her brain and hugged it gently as the weighted feeling in her chest slowly disappeared.

Ever since her father passed away seven years ago, everything changed. As a child, to everyone, she was the happiest little girl ever who treasured her father’s love every single second of the day. They were inseparable, unless her father had to work, of course. Sometimes he worked from home and Belle would follow him around like a puppy waiting for a treat or as if it was lost – it would make her father smile. The image of it has been imprinted in his daughter’s brain all her life. They were both the best of friends and if in school they were talking about best friends, Belle would always say her father. Little sniggers here and there would surround the girl, but she didn’t have a care in the world.

Sometimes while she dreamt, Belle had nightmares of that night. Her father and her in the car on the way home from the cinema. They had both gone to see Iron Man 2, and the excitement levels were high on Belle’s behalf. Superhero films were her favourites, especially since her father had got her into them from a young age. When they were driving to meet Belle’s mother after her shift in the hospital, the weather was not at its finest. The rain was very heavy and not that far in front of the car could be seen. It definitely was not driving weather, but Belle’s father didn’t want his wife to be walking home in the rain. That night ended with an oncoming car swerved into their lane. That was the last time Belle had ever seen her father smile. The last image she had ever gotten of the man she had idolised in her eleven years of life was of blood on his face and glass shattered all over him.

“Belle?” A voice asked softly from the doorway. The brunette sat up on her bed to be greeted with the view of her mother. She looked exhausted. “I just got home and wondered if you wanted to do something tonight?” Her mother asked. In all honesty, Belle wanted to. She wanted to bring herself out of her depressed slump and into the life of optimism, like she was as a child. However, all she wanted was to curl up in bed with her eyes closed and pray the nightmares went away for the night. The paused became longer and her mother looked down at the floor with a silent sigh. “I’ll take that as a no thank-you, then?” She asked. Belle kept her eyes on her mother and shook her head. “No, it’ll be nice to do something for a change.” The brunette replied, shifting off her bed and going to turn off her record player and put the vinyl back in its pristine sleeve. Every time she did, it felt like she was shutting her father away.

I really hope you enjoyed reading this post, and hopefully my writing doesn't suck as much as I think it does!

Disclaimer: Header image is not mine, it's a free stock photo!

Feel free to follow me on Twitter: @chloemtommo, Instagram: @chloetommo and Bloglovin.
Have an amazing day!

16 comments

Harriet29 January 2017 at 19:21
Another great post Chloe! I use writing as an escape too me it calms me down and lets me get things of my chest. Really enjoyed reading that short story x
Gemma Bray29 January 2017 at 19:25
It sounds like writing helps you a lot lovely! I think everyone needs that escape, just to get away from everything. I really enjoyed really this and I love you opening up with your Mental Health, I'm sure from your writing you've helped a lot of people!

Gemma | www.anoceanglimmer.wordpress.com
Maria H Trejo29 January 2017 at 19:46
Chloe this post is amazing! I'm taking a college writing class and we read about reading and writing. It taught me that writing isn't usually as popular as reading, but it can be helpful for a variety of reasons. I'm glad you like to write, I hope you continue to love it and share it with us.

Lupe || lupehtrejo.wordpress.com
Hilarice29 January 2017 at 19:50
This is such a wonderful post! And loved reading that short story, hope there will be more to read ;) Love, Larice

https://hilarice.wordpress.com
Hetty Ashiagbor29 January 2017 at 20:42
Thank you for this post! I find writing can be quite therapeutic! I used to wonder if I felt comfortable displaying my life through a blog but like you said, I get to reveal the parts of my life I want to reveal

www.hettyash.com
Sarah29 January 2017 at 21:43
Another wonderful post. I know I'm new to your blog but I love how open and genuine you are and I can't begin to imagine the number of people you must be helping.

I think it's really important to normalise mental health issues, and to increase understanding. I have several friends who have dealt, with and still deal with issues, and it annoys me greatly when they get told they should just snap out of it, you wouldn't dream of saying that to someone with a physical illness. So thank you for sharing your experience.

Also sorry for causing difficulty with my awkward questions!
Laura Davis30 January 2017 at 13:15
This is an amazing post Chloe! I see you used some of the questions I asked you ;) I also loved your creative writing at the end. You're very talented! Love you xxx
Demi31 January 2017 at 16:34
I always enjoy your posts Chloe! Writing has always been my escape as well. Keep up the great work love! Your writings are such an inspiration! :)