This has been a topic that I've wanted to discuss for a while, but I've always put it off. I'm not sure why I have done that, but I've decided now that I'd like to discuss it. Today, I'm going to be discussing my journey with my weight and body.

Note: This post is going to contain mentions of weight related issues, for example: self confidence, eating disorders. If this is going to trigger you in any way, please don't read further.

If you're a regular reader of chloetommo, you'll know that I was bullied quite a lot between the ages of 10/11-18 years old. It was for a lot of different things, but mainly it was for my weight. I have (kind of?) broad shoulders, as well as the fact that I put on weight extremely easily, even though about 5 years ago I had a very high metabolism - as in when I ate food, I swear I lost weight (probably not true, but that's what it felt like).

I also didn't shift my 'puppy fat' very quickly when I went from child to teenager, so that didn't help either really. It never really bothered me, until I started doing P.E. in high school. All the girls groups who were timetabled for P.E. in that period had to share the changing rooms then they'd split off into their allocated groups. This was hard, since the 'popular' and skinny girls would be there, and they'd mock people. It was irritating to me, because I didn't think people could be that shallow, so I just brushed it off.

Fast forward to 2012, when I was 15 and this was when sh*t hit the fan. I was being bullied even more for my weight, and someone even had the audacity to say that I was pregnant, because I had a tummy. To clarify, I wasn't pregnant and never have I ever been. This really upset me and I told my mum the day I went home after that rumour circulated, and she told me to sarcastically agree. I went in the next day and when I responded, I literally did an eye roll so painful, I felt like my eyes had detached from where it's placed. I also said in the most mocking voice ever "Oh yeah, of course I am". As idiotic as they were, they actually didn't understand my sarcasm and took it as confirmation.

In response to the rumours that kept circulating, I became so self conscious that I ended up not eating properly for a minimum of 14 days straight, and I weighed myself 4 times a day. This was awful, as I used to keep a journal (I disposed of it years ago) which had my weight recordings down everytime. It made me feel dreadful, especially because I'd have a breakdown if my weight went up or stayed the same. In my head, it needed to go down. Doing this had a drastic effect on me, as if made me get tired very easy, I lost weight off my breasts and I began to look ill. At this age, I wore make-up so it was easy for me to cover up parts of my face that made me look unwell, particularly my eyes.

When I realised what I was doing wasn't healthy, I tried to coax myself out of it and got back to eating normally, eventually. Proven to be a struggle, my attempts weren't as successful as I'd hoped, as whenever I went to eat, it was as if my body and stomach were rejecting the food. The thought, image, smell and taste of food was turning my stomach everytime, no matter what it was.

Moving forward to about age 18, my mental health wasn't really that great and due to stress from exams and applying for university, I was flipping between binge eating all day, every day, or not eating at all. It wasn't a good time for me, as stress, depression and anxiety were in the mix, and it was affecting everything. Luckily in sixth form, I had a bit more freedom with my uniform, as long as I wore black and white, so I got away with things I wouldn't have when I was in lower school or upper school. 

I was going to take this as an opportunity to be myself and to dress how I felt comfortable, as opposed to being in a uniform I was forced to follow. I bought a dress from Topshop to use as a pinafore, and it was honestly the most gorgeous thing ever. It was plain black with a deep plunge on the front which mirrored on the back as well. I wore it with a white short sleeve shirt and it really made my figure stand out (I have a quite exaggerated hourglass figure). It made me feel confident as a person, and this kind of turned my perspective a little bit.

Where am I today?

Currently, I'm between a size 12 to size 16 (varies for different clothing, a 16 due to bust, and 12 due to waist) and in all honesty, I'm happy. Sure, I go to the gym and I want to try and eat healthier, but I'm not worried about my weight anymore. I will admit, I do get days where I wish I was thinner, had a flat stomach, a more toned bum, less stretch marks... But I can't live my life wishing I could nip and tuck every little thing I find 'wrong' about myself. I don't even see it as wrong anymore, just different. I haven't weighed myself since the weight issues, and it does make me feel good (also I refer to the scales as the naughty step, thanks Joe Wicks!) 

A lot of the time, I look around at people and think "We're all made the same way, and are all human, yet how can we all look so different?" And that sometimes honestly baffles me. We all have different shapes and sizes, we are all of different gender, race and religion, but we all have one thing in common, no matter how different we are.

We're all human.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, and if you have any questions at all, feel free to leave them in the comments or get in contact with me on Twitter!

Disclaimer: Header image is not mine, it's a free stock photo!

Headspace

This is an app (which is free!) that I used last summer when went from 9 months of university work to a 40 hour a week work contract (they claimed it was 'bank'/0 hour). I used to get so overwhelmed with work, as I was a kitchen assistant and I had times where I'd go 3-6 hours where I would be on literal high demand, especially around meal times. After about 2 months of this, I got so overwhelmed, my body just couldn't handle it and I burnt out. This was painful for me, as I'd literally be going in and out of the kitchen to the female staff toilets crying because I was so tired, overwhelmed and physically exhausted.

When I was feeling like this, I used headspace and it did help me. Basically, it comes with verbal exercises for you to try, and all you need is 5 minutes of spare time and some headphones. There are daily exercises, but I only tended to need it on a Monday morning. The exercise I used was a short one as I used to do this just before a shift after having 2 days off, and basically it involved me laying in bed, eyes closed and it was all about focusing on my breathing with a man talking soothingly in my ear. I'd recommend this app to anyone, as it was quite helpful. I haven't needed to use it as of late, but I know I can go back to it anytime if I need to.

Listen to music

I love this for my mindfulness, as I actually have a song/playlist for every mood. Going back to the working situation above, during my walks to work or whilst I was getting ready, I had a playlist on Spotify full of uplifting and happy music to really make me feel good (and ironically, I named this 'For when you feel like sh*t). One time when I was feeling quite sluggish and I could tell I was going to start feeling down, I popped on some music which was happy and positive and I'd have an out-loud sing song and a bit of a dance. 

It honestly worked and made me have a bit of a giggle, especially when I do it around the house when I'm home alone (my dogs secretly judge me, I know it).

Go outside

No matter if it's just for a walk, a sit in the garden, walking a dog - going outside does help me, personally. I like to take in the atmosphere around me, or go for a walk somewhere new and explore. I like to look at different scenery and really appreciate it, and this (strangely enough) helps me to forget my worries and to focus on what's important. I sometimes look at things outside and I'm like 'It's so weird how all these things are actually here', and it makes me feel better about things which are going on. If I'm feeling overwhelmed, it lets me focus on something different and I can take in each detail and use it as a distraction from the negativity. It's a nice addition if you're with friends or family, or even a pet!

Writing

This can be a simple one, but writing can be a great mindfulness technique. Whether you're writing out how you feel, a blog post, a random drabble (for a novel or poetry), it can be a way to take your mind off things. For me, it lets me escape what I'm doing and putting my efforts, mind and concentration into something different, and usually when I'm done, I read over it and see what I've come up with, even though my anxieties may be high.

Talk to people

Whatever the conversation may be, talking to people has been a great help to me. I prefer verbally as opposed to over text, Twitter or Facebook, but what will do, will do. I use this to either talk about my feelings and worries (if they're quite bothersome), or just to have a general conversation (usually I focus on what the other is discussing) and I try to ask them questions so that they can talk about things like their day, how work/university is going and stuff like that. It lets me focus on whoever I'm talking to, whether it's a friend, family member or blogger friend, and just chatting generally puts me in a good mood.

What are your mindfulness techniques? Do you do any of the things I've said above? Let me know in the comments and let's have a discussion!

Today marks the day where I have had my last counselling session, and it's fair to say that it was beyond successful. So for today's post, I wanted to share with you what my counselling experiences have been like, from the age of 17 until now, the age of 20.

I see a few of these types of posts floating around and they always interest me, especially the method of counselling which is done. I like learning about new techniques for mindfulness, as well as coping mechanisms in case I can manipulate them into my own life and lifestyle. I'm going to go through my each experience of counselling and tell you a bit about what happened with each one.

Note: No names will be revealed in this post for confidentiality reasons, although I will disclose gender, as that has a part to play in the experiences.

Counselling experience 1

Where?: High school
When?: Age 17-18
Method: CBT

If you've read my blog before, you'll know that I suffer from anxiety and when I was in high school, it was really and truly awful. Going to lessons was hard, even trying to go to school was hard. I found my focus levels in lessons where my bullies were there to be non-existent. I decided to receive counselling first off at the age of 17, with a counsellor in school whilst I was in my first year of sixth form. I thought at the time that it may not do much because I thought my issues were so large that nothing could solve them. Glass half empty concept, huh?

Seeing a counsellor actually made me anxious, because I didn't know what to expect. Sure, I had seen TV episodes and stuff of things like it, but real life doesn't really reflect things we see in the media. I tried to make it really secretive that I was going to counselling, as I didn't want to be bullied for yet another thing. I wanted to be okay, I wanted to have nothing 'wrong' with me.

I didn't really have a positive experience with this counsellor, as I feel like the methods she used were helpful for me, and kind of patronised me slightly. Every session would begin with two laminated sheets with things stuck onto them with velcro. One would contain words/feelings, the other had emojis stuck to it. I can see why this would be helpful, especially if a younger pupil were to use these since it's a good indicator of telling feelings if they're too nervous to vocally say them. However, I was 17, coming close to 18 at this time. Ironically, I had a session on my actual 18th birthday, so it was strange to go from being 17 to a legal adult. 

I remember at one point that I was feeling depressed and I had a panic attack during the session, resulting in my doctor being contacted as well as my mum so she could collect me and take me to the doctors. It was emotional to say the least, but after that counselling experience, I still felt crappy and just useless. I'm not saying the counsellor themselves were awful, their methods of counselling just weren't right for me - and that's okay to admit!

Counselling experience 2

Where?: University

When?: Age 19

Method: CBT

Originally, I was going to seek counselling in my first year of uni, so would have been ages 18-19 (potentially), but due to being anxious about seeing a counsellor yet again, I put it off. I really could've done with the help from a counsellor then, since my anxiety was sky high. This was due to moving away from home, adjusting to a life I had never experienced before, and being given so much independence than I knew what to do with. It was a rollercoaster, and it was a horrible one. This is another story for another time though, if you're interested - let me know!

Moving onto this experience. Now, I finally got to see this counselling service, even though they had stopped taking applications for the service since they had an overwhelming amount of applications. I genuinely thought I had no hope until I contacted them with a e-mail, and in all honesty, I thought I was going to get a reply saying "We're sorry, but blah blah blah" which would've made me feel like a bit of a fish out of water. However, I was graced with an e-mail with an application form attached to it and I felt content. I hastily filled it out and returned it, as I wanted to ensure I got help ASAP.

When I saw this counsellor, it was mainly for anxiety, although we touched upon depression and potentially PTSD. At the time, I was dealing with anxiety for being late to lectures, going out on student nights, presentations, having too much attention on me... The list went on and on. I genuinely thought I could be anxiety about my own bloody shadow at that point, I had a list as long as my arm. We worked through things one by one, although mid-way through the sessions, I was asked if I'd like to refer to another counselling provider. I didn't want to say yes, because I'd of felt bad and worry if I'd hurt the counsellors feelings, but without thinking I piped up with a "Yes". She wasn't upset or anything, but explained that CBT may not be for me, so perhaps trying another service may help.

Counselling experience 3

Where?: University referred counselling

When?: Age 19-20

Method: Patient centered approach

After the second experience of counselling not really going well, or being very effective, I had a mixture of feelings for this experience. I was paranoid that I'd have to see a large string of counsellors to realise that I have way too many issues to solve, I was worried that counselling overall wasn't going to work since the last two experiences didn't. I felt a bit hopeless, if I can be honest. However, I was definitely taken by surprise.

When arriving for my first session, I was anxious and worried. My boyfriend came with me and waited outside for me, which was lovely and made me feel more calm (even though he probably would've preferred to be at home). As soon as the door opened for the building, I was greeted with a man who asked my name and he said that he was going to be my counsellor. In my head, I was like *hits panic alarm* "How am I going to be able to talk to a man about all my issues?!". Well, ladies, gents and everything in between... I actually managed to talk to him about EVERYTHING. The anxiety, depression, my parent's divorce, uni drama, stress, even what happened to me when I was younger. I'd never managed to tell anyone outside my friends and family about what happened to me when I was younger, and I didn't think I'd be able to - let alone tell a man or something I'd just met about it.

It was so nice to have a counsellor who listened to me, as opposed to writing things down and nodding. (Also, props to him as he literally has such a good memory!) He treated me like a person, and didn't make me feel inferior or patronised. I was asked questions which weren't too perplexing, and also triggered a lot of different thought, for example: He'd ask me "What if you tried to celebrate your achievements more?", or "What if you praised yourself more?", and it really got me thinking. Yeah, why don't I praise myself more? Why don't I celebrate my achievements, even if they're small? Little achievements can build up into something more great and wonderful.

I felt like a normal person when I was at these sessions, I didn't feel as though what I was feeling was wrong. This counsellor would sit across from me and would let me talk for an hour, with minimal questions, and sometimes he would give me advice for things I could potentially try (like a self-care routine/checklist for example). There were laughs and tears during these sessions, and the ever so popular "I want to be okay" comment I say to myself sometimes, but after the last session today, I actually was tearing up as I walked away. I was so happy with myself, with how things went, how I've progressed - so happy in general!

The sessions that I had from experience 3 have definitely been the best, and also the most beneficial to me, and I'd like to thank that counsellor, as well as the others for the efforts they put in to try and help me and most of all, for listening to me.

So, how do I feel now?

After all this, I feel great in all honesty. I know there will be times when I'll feel down, or anxious/panicked, but it's not going to be like that forever. As a 20 year old, I want to enjoy life everyday as it comes, no matter if the weather is miserable, I've got lectures all day, I have a bad grade in an assignment. Just because negative things happen, doesn't mean it'll be permanent. I feel so proud of myself for actually completely a counselling experience without finishing early. 

This will probably sound cheesy, but I feel like one of those superheroes who can literally do anything and are so fearless. I really like this feeling, and it does feel strange to be feeling okay, after a long trough of feeling like crap, then just average. I haven't stopped smiling since the session ended, and that was nearly 2 hours ago. I want to go through life and celebrate the good things and be on the more brighter side of life, rather than being in the middle and edging to the negative side of life.

Overall, what I've learnt from counselling:

Feel free to follow me on Twitter: @chloemtommo, Instagram: @chloetommo and Bloglovin.
Have an amazing day!

When it comes to the gym, or doing any kind of fitness - music is my best friend. It's my motivation most of the time, and something with a good feeling to it really helps me get my workout done. I'm always looking for new songs to put into my playlist so I can keep it fresh and have more variety. I like my fitness music to have beat, and also give me a bit of feeling so I get the motivation to work hard, sweat it out and push myself to (almost) my limit. I tend to listen to different things depending on what I'm doing, but this playlist is (for me) a general, well rounded playlist.

 So today, I thought I would share with you guys what my playlist for the gym consists of! 

Note: Songs which are in bold are my particular favourites/motivators, and also I listen to this playlist as my pre-gym music to get me motivated, as well as during my session.

1. My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fall Out Boy
2. West End Kids - New Politics
3. My Number - Foals
4. home - morgxn
5. Wrapped Up - Olly Murs
6. I Like Not Knowing - Fatherson
7. Tonight - Room 94
8. Reckless - You me at Six
9. Sticks 'N' Stones - Jamie T
10. Dangerous - The xx
11. Loverboy - You me at Six
12. Norgaard - The Vaccines
13. Come Back Home - Two Door Cinema Club
14. Really Don't Care - Demi Lovato
15. Lived a Lie - You me at Six
16. Wolves of Winter - Biffy Clyro
17. You Wanna Know - DON BROCO
18. Best Fake Smile - James Bay
19. Irresistible - Fall Out Boy
20. Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time - Panic! at the Disco
21. Victorious - Panic! at the Disco
22. Hallelujah - Panic! at the Disco
23. Roman Holiday - Halsey
24. LA Devotee - Panic! at the Disco
25. All the Small Things - blink-182
26. Break Your Little Heart - All Time Low
27. Can't Stop The Feeling - Justin Timberlake
28. Weightless - All Time Low
29. Talking Body - Tove Lo
30. Sax - Fleur East
31. Centuries - Fall Out Boy
32. Just Hold On - Louis Tomlinson & Steve Aoki
33. The Sound - The 1975
34. Holding Onto You - twenty one pilots
35. Applause - Lady Gaga
36. Edge of Glory - Lady Gaga
37. Good Grief - Bastille
38. Confident - Demi Lovato
39. E.T. - Katy Perry
40. Pompeii - Bastille
41. Roads - Lawson
42. Up In The Air - Thirty Seconds to Mars
43. Summertime Sadness - Lana Del Rey (vs. Cedric Gervais)
44. Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
45. Night People - You me at Six
46. Kids In The Dark - All Time Low
47. PILLOWTALK - Zayn
48. Part of Me - Katy Perry
49. Never Gonna Learn - Ded Rabbit
50. Heathens - twenty one pilots
51. Lost Little Boys - Fatherson
52. Automatic - DON BROCO
53. Immortals - Fall Out Boy
54. Novocaine - Fall Out Boy
55. Stay Awake - Example
56. Heavydirtysoul - twenty one pilots
57. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy
58. Shape of You - Ed Sheeran
59. Colours - Halsey (Audien Remix)
60. Chasing The Sun - The Wanted
61. I Believe In A Thing Called Love - The Darkness
62. Berlin - New Politics
63. I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy
64. You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC
65. Girls & Boys - Good Charlotte
66. Where Did The Party Go - Fall Out Boy
67. American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy
68. Shoutout to my Ex - Little Mix
69. Olympia - Sundara Karma
70. Supermassive Black Hope - Muse
71. Animal - Neon Trees
72. Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON
73. Work at Home - Fifth Harmony
74. Don't Stop - 5 Seconds of Summer
75. Touch - Little Mix
76. Hooked On A Feeling - Blue Swede

I guess from this you guys learned that my gym motivator songs are usually 'rock' music, although I do try my hardest to vary it and add in new things (hence the 75 songs). Also, if you'd like access to this playlist via Spotify, my account name is: chloetommo97

What do you listen to when you workout, or are at the gym? Do you see some of the songs you listen to in my list?

 Let me know in the comments!

For bloggers, we face a lot of stereotypes. They can be good, or they can be bad, but some of the time, they're not an accurate representation of who we actually are. 

This post is really going to seem like I'm coming across as being a bully, or a bit of a d*ck, but that's not what I'm doing. For the purpose of this post, I'm taking some 'blogging stereotypes' that either I, or my followers have come up with so I can purely debunk them. It's not me picking fun at people, it's just some harmless debunking and showing non-bloggers what we as bloggers are truly like. So once again, I'm not doing this to pick at anyone!

Myth 1: Only girls/females can be bloggers

NUH-UH, wrong answer. Fun fact: there's no specific gender you need to be to be a blogger. Sure, there seem to be more females out there than males, but you just gotta dig deeper than just a 2 second search on Twitter, Bloglovin' or on Google. A few of my favourite male bloggers are: CJ, Rich, Mike, John, Liam, and Marc and they are all very lovely people who blog about brilliant things which I think are amazing, so hats off to you guys and every other male blogger out there - keep doing you!

Myth 2: Every beauty blogger can afford high end products

Whilst this may be true for some, it's not true for all. I know a lot of beauty bloggers that thrive from primarily using highstreet/drugstore products, and that's perfectly fine! A lot of the things you can find in Boots and Superdrug are actually really decent quality and can do the jobby just as good. There will be a few high end things dotted around here or there, like the Modern Renaissance palette, or any of the Too Faced palettes, but sometimes they're gifted for an occasion like a birthday!

Myth 3: ROSE GOLD EVERYTHING

As much as I adore rose gold, I don't think every single blogger out there does. I'd be surprised if I couldn't find a blogger that dislikes rose gold. I do see quite a few flat lays or blog photos that do have something rose gold in them, but I tend to see them less and less as time goes on. If I think about it, I actually own 2 things which are rose gold, which is my Tesor necklace, and a pen which I had for Christmas (which I adore, but not because it's rose gold!).

Myth 4: We get so many freebies

As a blogger who has been around for almost a year, I haven't actually once received anything free. Whether that's a shock to you or not, I have no clue - but there you have it. The ever so shocking revelation of a blogger! We don't get free things all the time, and some of the time we do partnerships where we purchase a product first then get promo codes for ourselves and for the public. I guess if you're a blogger which is substantially more popular, you may get sent things from companies but for us little guys, we don't actually get that many!

Myth 5: We only blog for money and fame

I'm actually yet to find a blogger who actually blogs for either, or both of those purposes. Sure, there are bloggers out there who go full time and get paid for their content, or we write the odd one or two pieces for something and may get paid, but a lot of the time people either blog for numerous purposes, like to be able to express themselves openly and wholeheartedly, to provide help, to have an escape, for a hobby, for fun. For me, I initially started writing to have an escape from being bullied and my negative thoughts, then it progressed into being something I loved and wanted to pursue as a hobby. I don't wish to become 'famous' from my blog, because that's not what I blog for.

Myth 6: Every photo taken must include a white background, or white marble

Yes, we all have our preferred 'Instagram aesthetics', but we don't all fish in the same pond! Sure, these can make photos pretty, or make a flat lay look more 'aesthetically pleasing', but we don't all do this. A lot of the photos I take tend to be of a landscape, or of something in public with a lot of different colours included. 

It's very rare that I'll take a photo which has a completely white background. I can also hand on heart say I've never actually used white marble, (or any kind of marble for that matter) for a photo. There's nothing wrong with using a white background, or white marble for photos, as they can really tie a photo together, or make a product you're photographing pop.

Myth 7: Everything is always positive

I can tell you now, it's really not. We all have our good days, and we all have our bad days. Bloggers choose what to post publicly, and decide on what to keep private. For me, I like being an open book as I feel better when I vent, or write on a personal level. I do like to share my positive things online too, whether it be through my blog, Twitter or Instagram, as well as sharing little motivational things for others, or for myself if I feel particularly crappy at some point. All in all, not every day is a happy day and just because we may seem all happy and bubbly, we're not always.

Myth 8: It takes little to no effort to blog

If you say this to a blogger, they're more than likely really taken back by what you've said. Sure, it may look like to just words and pictures on a page, but to us bloggers, it's more than that. It's a lot of time, effort, motivation and dedication. Did you, for me, it takes me roughly an hour and a half per blog post from start to finish? Sometimes, I don't even have the motivation to blog, which makes my blog suffer as my regular readers may switch off from reading my content. Blogging takes a lot out of us, especially if we use our own photos as opposed to stock free images. We need to edit them as well, and see if weather permits for our photos to be able to be taken. So, next time you say blogging takes nothing, think about what I've said before you do!

What are your blogger myths/stereotypes? Do you think we are disadvantaged by them? Let me know in the comments, and let's start a discussion!

Feel free to follow me on Twitter: @chloemtommo, Instagram: @chloetommo and Bloglovin.
Have an amazing day!

Even though now I still struggle with depression from time to time, there are different things I do to help myself feel better. The one that I turn to the most is music. It may sound silly to some people, but it's something that in life I felt like I could rely on, even when I thought I had nothing or when I felt as though I had no-where to turn.

There were specific artists that I'd listen to, because their lyrics really spoke to me and these were Thirty Seconds to Mars and The Wanted. Both artists have very different sounds but for me, the words speak more than the sound. To me, music is more than just something that sounds appealing to me. Music has meaning and that mainly come down to the lyrics themselves to me. I feel like I am fortunate and lucky enough to have seen both The Wanted (numerous occasions) and Thirty Seconds to Mars live, and it really put things into perspective to me.

I have met The Wanted a few times, and they're honestly really down to earth. I know they're not together anymore, and their split really upset me. Not in a fangirl sense, but because their music had helped me through so much in life. I felt like I could talk to them about my struggles and I thanked them in person for their music, because it helped me when I felt like nothing else could. It sounds cheesy and fangirly, but I don't care.

Digging the fringe on 13 year old me (not really)!

Jay casually using my phone to talk to my friend who couldn't be there.

The reason I love Thirty Seconds to Mars so much, is for what they stand for. They stand for family, unity, freedom and dreams. Lead singer Jared Leto is a big inspiration for me, because in life he came from nothing. He was a dreamer and one quote from him which really stands out is 

"My mother crawled out of the muddy banks of the Mississippi with a fistful of food stamps in one hand and two kids in the other on a mission to make a better life for herself and for her kids."

This stood out to me for numerous reasons, and one of them is that it showed to me that my mother has given so much to ensure that life for myself and my older brother was as good as it could be - so I found this really relatable. I also relate to Jared on the whole 'being a dreamer' front, as when I was a child, I had so many dreams and aspirations. I wanted to be a swimmer, I wanted to be a dancer, I wanted to be a singer... My mum always told me that I could do and could be whatever I wanted. The thing was, she really believed in me.

Some of the lyrics/songs in particular from both these artists have helped me, so I'll share them below and tell you why they've helped. Also all the songs will be linked below if you fancy a listen!

Thirty Seconds to Mars

City of Angels: "One life, one love, live."

This bit taught me that I only get one life, and I should live it to it's maximum potential 24/7, 100%. Time and life is so precious, and it's the things we don't do that we regret. I want to enjoy life and not live everyday in dread that something is going to go wrong.

Closer to the Edge: "I will never forget, I will never regret, I will live my life."

When I let people walk all over me and let myself be treated as a doormat, this song helped through and also helped me to try and stand on my own two feet. It taught me to not live with regrets and to just get on with it and live my life everyday, as it comes.

Do or Die: "We dream out loud."

In life, I want to help make a difference. I mainly want to do it in a mental health perspective, but it's my main goal in life. I want to make a difference to someone, or something. That's the goal, and that's the dream for me.



The Wanted

Golden: "And we try, and we fall, and we live another day."

Whenever I tried to feel better, I always got knocked down either instantly, or a few hours/a day later. I felt like giving up a lot, but I realised that in life, I'm going to get knocked back and life is a whole 'one step forward, two steps back' kind of thing. Nothing ever goes perfectly, or 100% smoothly, so I can't expect it to.

I'll Be Your Strength: "This is not gonna last forever, it's that time where you must hold on.", "We can stand so tall together, we can make it through the stormy weather."

This was one of the biggest things that really helped to change my perspective on things. I knew I was struggling so hard, and I couldn't find it in me to let my voice be heard and to tell people how I was feeling. I'll Be Your Strength is a song which I still listen to today when I'm feeling low, and it really reassures me that I'm not going to feel the way I do forever. It also taught me that I'd find someone one day who would give me the time of day and help me out of the pit I felt like I was stuck in, but also someone who would love me despite my depression and anxiety.

Warzone: "I throw my armour down, and leave the battleground for the final time", "I'm running from a warzone."

I know this song wasn't about how I was feeling, as it's a song about someone cheating on someone else. However, the lyrics I mentioned above basically made me think of everything I was dealing with emotionally and psychologically and how much I wanted to walk away from it and help myself get better.


I asked my Twitter followers if they listened to music as a method of helping them through things, or to try and make them feel better and I got a few responses which they have agreed to let me use for this blog post.

"Music has helped me so much, especially before I asked for help with my mental health, music was my go-to thing to calm me down, it still is now actually. I find it so relaxing to just lay in bed, listening to music. I also listen to rain sounds, as that is actually one of the only things that calms me when I'm mid panic attack. I also find it fun to find new music on Spotify, as I can spend hours finding new music, and it distracts me from overthinking and horrible thoughts."

How music has helped you through things:

"-Escape of actual reality
-Alternative to Self Harm -Something to hit, one of my parts plays drums (I don't btw lol) -A fulfilling career that never felt like work. We photographed musicians -How I got started in photography -Many lyrics are relatable depending upon the part BUT for me I tend to lean the hard rock/alternative genre" - Erika (@TheWeInMe)

Do you listen to music when you feel down? Let me know in the comments, and let's have a discussion!